It started on february 2009…

It started on february 2009…

A month that i’ve been waiting for. Hehehe, it feels like i’m still a little girl. So excited about the birthday. In the mean time, this is the month that I start to feel something improper. I don’t know why, but most of all I don’t know what is it. Whatever is it, I absolutely convinced there’s something that wasn’t doing fine.

God always answer your question. Eventually, I found it. Something that I was always questioning for almost 1 month lately. The fact covered up, and it hurts. I swear to God, it hurts. Oh, how could this happen to me? This is the part that everybody said “Life is a b*tch?”. Something that u always trust and hope. It started to be nothing. Everything that have built up, one by one, step by step, from time to time, was almost screwed up. I’m totally upset.

I’m angry, I cry all night long, I moan, I try to figure it out “why”, I ask my mom to sleep next to me, I was working badly, I can’t react my friend’s jokes, I hate being alone, I let my brother taking care of me, I waste time, I hope it wasn’t real, I thought it was a nightmare, I protest to God, I’m totally pathethic.

And then…I start to make myself calm, I hypnotize myself into something good, I say “astagfirullah” more often than before, I raise my working spirit, I meet my old friends, I make a joke, I take the trip, I drive Go-Kart, I always pray for “that something”, I buy new clothes, I read books, but why do I still feel the pain???

You can hope everything. But everything doesn’t have to be like you expect for. That’s what I called test of life. Insya Allah, it makes you stronger and better. Amin.


Ok, that’s all done.
From now, I’m doing fine. I’ll keep that in mind. (^_^)v